GOD: What a Dick! With supporting quotes from his very own book, the bible. My fav: Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. Nice, huh?
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God, What a Dick!
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
Jeremiah 19:9 And I will cause them to eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters, and they shall eat every one the flesh of his friend.
Leviticus 24:16 And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the LORD, shall be put to death.
Numbers 14:18 The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.
Numbers 17:12-13 And the children of Israel spake unto Moses, saying, Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish. Whosoever cometh any thing near unto the tabernacle of the LORD shall die: shall we be consumed with dying?
Deuteronomy 4:25-26 When thou shalt beget children, and children’s children, and ye shall have remained long in the land, and shall corrupt yourselves, and make a graven image, or the likeness of any thing, and shall do evil in the sight of the LORD thy God, to provoke him to anger: I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that ye shall soon utterly perish from off the land whereunto ye go over Jordan to possess it; ye shall not prolong your days upon it, but shall utterly be destroyed.
2 Kings 6:28-29 And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my son tomorrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him: and I said unto her on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: and she hath hid her son.
2 Kings 6:33 Behold, this evil is of the LORD.
JESUS: What a Dick! With supporting quotes from his very own book, the bible. My fav: Luke 14:26
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Jesus: What a Dick!
Mark 4:11-12 And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.
Mark 16:17-18 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
Luke 10:19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Luke 12:51-3 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
1 Corinthians 10:10 Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.
Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn’t there. Robert A Heinlein
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In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point. Friedrich Nietzsche
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Fruitcake is a traditional way to celebrate the birth of Jesus. How Symbolic.
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Fruitcake is a traditional way to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Coincidence?
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Excellent argument for atheism:
Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god? Epicurus 341 – 270 BCE
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Excellent argument for atheism:
Is god willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god? Epicurus 341 – 270 BCE
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Santa and Jesus Come To An Agreement:
Santa: “Let me have December 25th, I’ll give you 10% on the Vig, & you get the rest of the year.”
Jesus: “Deal!”
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WTF!? Goddammit, Dad! (God electrocutes his son Jesus. Why? Only heaven knows!)
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